Like it or not, children grow up …
When my children were young I really didn’t understand that my Shared Care journey with Jeff would include a point in time when my children would grow up and leave the house. But it happened. One child is off to college, which also means I know how quickly the other will be making his way through high school.
Life with teens is easier – As I compare my life today to the early years of our family, it’s amazing how much easier it is. Gone are the days of the physical demands of those early years. Now our son is busy with his own life. And on the days I’m “in charge” he often doesn’t come home until 4:30 or even 5:30. Now when one of us travels for work, gone are the exhausting days of doing “double duty” because the other parent is absent. Now we even have another pair of hands to help out with dinners, walking the dog and doing all the other everyday tasks families require.
Life with teens is also harder – However – as any parent of a teenager knows – life with teens is also harder. The problems they face are more complex and often can’t be quickly crossed off the to-do list.
Creating a collective tool box – both at work and at home – What I didn’t know was how much my decision to Share Care with Jeff would become so valuable as our children grew up. As Shared Care parents we were both experts in flexing our work to be available for our children. And as Shared Care parents of teens we could both think together about how to handle the new and sometimes challenging territory of dating, driving and the all encompassing college application process.
I remember a moment a few years ago when our daughter was facing a significant challenge with another friend of hers. At that exact moment I also had a work commitment that I couldn’t reschedule. You can’t predict when your teenager will need a shoulder to cry on, but this was one of those moments. I left our house not knowing how things would unfold – my father was wonderful in so many ways, but my Mom was the parent I leaned on for emotional support. Returning home later that day, not only did I find my daughter once again ready to take on the world, I learned how much Jeff was truly my equal in managing the ups and downs of family life.
But we didn’t achieve our “team approach” overnight. It took practice, a few fights, me letting go and even getting some outside resource when we kept getting stuck in a particular problem. Now with our youngest in high school, Jeff and I will be using our “team approach” to start planning for life without children at home. Yes, I know it’s hard to imagine – but like it or not, children do grow up.