By Karin McGrath Dunn
In 1998, while working on the Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts construction project in Philadelphia, I learned a profound lesson from our Board chairman, Willard (Bill) Rouse III.
It was a pivotal moment for our organization – we were months away from groundbreaking on a regional performing arts center in downtown Philadelphia, and we still had $77 million left to raise. “Can this project team pull off the impossible?” was the question of every newspaper article about us that month.
And that’s right when Bill told us that he was heading to a remote part of Canada for several weeks and left specific instructions: No calls, no contact. His “next in line” would be around to handle anything urgent.
My boss was dumbfounded: “We won’t even be able to call him? He can’t be serious.”
But he was.
Weeks later, he returned refreshed, received a briefing on what he’d missed, and seamlessly resumed his duties. And within weeks of his return, he had generated several large donation commitments, and put us firmly on the path for reaching our final fundraising goals.
I never forgot how Bill held firm boundaries around his vacation time and demonstrated complete disconnection without causing chaos.
It taught me that we alone are responsible for establishing and upholding the boundaries we need.
My dad had a different approach.
An entrepreneur who built a successful business, he was deeply committed to his work – often so committed that he found it difficult to fully disconnect during vacations.
I remember the year he carried a very heavy portable Compaq computer with us to Florida, and set it up at the dining room table. And from that point on, he was pretty much always available for work. His dedication to his clients was inspiring, but we missed having his full attention during holidays and vacations.
When I began working at the family business, I vowed to maintain clearer boundaries between work and personal time, with Bill Rouse in mind.
But breaking free proved more challenging than I anticipated. Despite my best intentions, we were a small team, and I often found myself pulled into a cycle of last-minute this or that.
I started to understand what my dad had been up against.
The Unintended Consequences of Never Turning Off
The problem with never turning off is that it can create a vicious cycle.
You unintentionally train your customers, employees, and colleagues to contact you at all hours. Once everyone learns that you’ll respond immediately, even while on vacation, the expectation becomes permanent. You never stop.
Your team also needs a break from you. If you don’t step back and let them operate independently, they miss the opportunity to lead projects, complete tasks and engage in deep work without interruptions.
And your family ends up feeling like work always comes first.
Modern technology means work can follow you everywhere. While this flexibility can be valuable, it also means you need to be deliberate about turning on and turning off.
And in all this uncertainty, many of us worry that being unreachable might cost us opportunities or job security. It’s understandable but I find that the opposite is often true – constantly being “on” can actually hurt your effectiveness and your relationships.
Great leaders know when to work and when to step away. They are modeling healthy productivity and healthy time off.
Strategies for Disconnecting
After years of trial and error, I’ve finally learned how to hold better boundaries around vacations – here is what has worked for me:
1. Create a Clear Out-of-Office Message
State your return date and add an extra buffer day to set realistic expectations and give yourself space to ease back into work without immediate pressure.
2. Trust and Empower Your Team
If you have the option, delegate email monitoring to a trusted team member so you can truly turn it off. Clearly define what constitutes an emergency and what constitutes a call to you,
3. If You Must Check In, Be Specific About It
If you absolutely must to do a specific work task on vacation, set a specific time and share this with your team and your travel companions/spouse too.
4. Request An Update
Ask your team to document critical happenings while you were away. Have someone send you a summary scheduled for 8 AM on your first day back. Then, don’t do anything until you read it.
5. Block a Buffer Day
Use your buffer day to review emails, find out what happened, respond to critical items, and plan your priorities and week ahead. You can also check in with your team about the most important issues and find out what has already been done.
When you hold firm boundaries, you demonstrate confidence and strategic thinking. You show others that being constantly available doesn’t equal being productive and that pushing back on the always-on culture is actually a leadership strength.
Setting and upholding a boundary around vacation time does more than just ensure a relaxing vacation, it’s the perfect rehearsal for all the other boundaries at work that protect our well-being and relationships. Each time we truly disconnect for a holiday, we prove to ourselves and those around us that it’s possible to step away, trust our colleagues, and return stronger and more creative. This same discipline sets the stage for leaving work at a set time every day, working fewer hours, or prioritizing family events without guilt. By practicing with vacations, one of the clearest opportunities to assert our need for a real break, we strengthen our ability and our permission to do the same in everyday life. Over time, these small acts lay the foundation for a healthier, more sustainable work-life integration, and modeling that behavior invites everyone in our orbit to do the same.
Karin McGrath Dunn is a seasoned executive leader and certified ACC coach through the International Coaching Federation (ICF). She holds a Master’s in Adult Organizational Development from Temple University. As Chairperson and past President of PRD Management, Inc., Karin has led large-scale organizational change and strategic growth, fostering inclusive, values-driven leadership. In her coaching practice, she specializes in helping creative leaders to navigate transitions, work-life integration, family business dynamics, and the impact of adult ADHD. Her firsthand experience balancing professional and personal demands shapes her coaching approach, and she often incorporates visual facilitation techniques to help her clients gain deeper insight.
Karin has two teenage children with her husband, Mike, who works at the US EPA. In her spare time, she enjoys hiking, making art, reading, and spending one completely unplugged week with her family each summer.